How to Plan a Family Vacation with Aging Parents

It was the perfect vacation you’ve been daydreaming about since March: All three generations on the beach while grandchildren build sandcastles and your parents hang out by the pool in the shade with ice-cold drinks and laughter.

Now, the hard reality is hitting you. Dad’s knee can’t handle five flights of stairs to the rental, your mom needs her medicines refrigerated, your eight-year-old wants to snorkel all day and your toddler wants a nap by 2 p.m., and the logistics are all on you. Family vacations don’t work the same way as when you were a kid. Now, it’s your job.

The upside? Family vacations are among our most cherished memories. It might be more work, but it’s worth it. This is the guide for the middle child. The one googling reviews late at night to figure out if the resort is all-inclusive. Here’s how to navigate the process: from deciding where to go and what you need to pack to making sure everyone is on the same page and the vacation ends up bringing you all closer together.

Why a Multigenerational Vacation Is Worth the Effort

It’s really easy to talk yourself out of this. Sure, the logistics are tricky, but think about what happens if you don’t go at all.

Your children’s time to make lasting memories with their grandparents is fleeting. In fact, the window is shorter than you might believe. According to the AARP, “Multigenerational family travel is trending,” with 40% of grandparents taking a vacation with grandchildren. Families who travel together report closer connections between generations, and the older generation describes trips as the best part of their year.

For parents, travel can even stimulate cognition. A change of scenery, new people, and new conversation can have positive benefits, not to mention how much they’ll enjoy just seeing and interacting with their grandchildren.

For you, the trip offers another benefit: a break from the caretaking burden. On vacation, your parents are just your mom and dad (for as long as you’re away), not a caregiving project.

The secret is intentional planning. Multigenerational vacations are trickier to plan than a trip with your friends, but they’re not complicated to plan and certainly needn’t be stressful, provided they’re realistic.

How to Choose a Destination Everyone Can Enjoy

The destination can make or break a multigenerational trip. It is critical to find a place that caters to each generation in the family while giving everyone a choice to participate as much as they are comfortable. (If a full vacation is not an option, a family reunion closer to home can offer a similar experience with less logistics.)

Start by asking, not assuming. Ask your parents what they’d enjoy before you book a trip. Too often, adult children are quick to apply their own vacation goals to their aging parents. Your father might surprise you with his desire to take part in a cooking class. Your mom might opt for a relaxing quiet beach day over a fun-filled day at a resort. Ask them what they’d like to do. It shows that you value their desires, and it may spare you resentment in the long run.

Some ideas for destinations could include:

• All-inclusive resorts: This is an excellent option for parents with different degrees of mobility. Most activities are within a few steps of your room, and there are activities suited for every generation. Look for properties with on-property shuttle services to get around.
• Vacation rentals: If you choose a house or condo, everyone has their own space to relax. Grandparents can rest while the grandkids play. Make sure to confirm if the home has first-floor living (including a bathroom that is accessible for people with disabilities).
• Cruise ships: Cruises work well for multigenerational trips. Everyone has built-in activities on board, and grandparents can relax on the deck while the grandkids are at the kids’ club. Be sure to confirm mobility considerations.
• National parks (with lodges): This is a fantastic idea if you love the outdoors. Make sure you choose a park that has easily accessible scenic overlooks and lodge-style accommodations, rather than campgrounds. Many national parks offer accessible trails and a shuttle system.
• Staycation-style trips: Don’t rule out nearby areas. A two-hour drive from your home to a cabin or lakeside rental in the neighboring state keeps the driving time short, and this could be important given different levels of energy and stamina.

Watch out for these warning signs in destinations:

• Destinations that are a long drive from an airport (90 minutes or more can take a toll on the elderly).
• Far-flung areas that lack hospitals or clinics.
• Accommodations that contain lots of stairs, and no elevator.
• Scorching heat or high altitude if your parent has heart or respiratory issues.

Accessibility and Mobility: The Planning Checklist

This is where almost all multigenerational vacations fall apart. Mobility limitations don’t rule your parents out of traveling. They just mean that you need to plan ahead for your parents.

Before you book: Ask about accessibility. Can they get from the parking lot or curb to the room without a lot of walking up or down steps? Are there accessibility amenities for the bath? A walk-in shower or a tub? Ask the property, because sometimes it is hard to tell from their website.

Ask about travel. Do you need a wheelchair-accessible car? Will your parents be able to get in and out of a standard rental car? If flying, ask the airline well ahead of time for a wheelchair for gate to gate assistance.

Ask about excursion accessibility. Is an excursion easy or hard? If a travel agency is offering a “gentle walking tour” it might include cobblestones and steep inclines. Read reviews left by other senior citizens.

Ask for downtime. Schedule activities during the mornings, when everyone has the most energy, followed by rest periods. Your parents shouldn’t have to choose between sleeping at the hotel and missing an excursion.

What else should you include in your go-bag? A lightweight, portable and foldable wheelchair or rollator, even if you don’t usually use them at home (long walkways at airports and uneven sidewalks may change things); good, comfortable shoes; a portable seat cushion for hard restaurant chairs; a grabber tool for getting things at eye level in your hotel room.

If your parent has specific mobility limitations, you need to find out what you can expect about the accessibility at your destination before you get there. Take advantage of Google Map’s street views; read accessibility reviews on Tripadvisor and call the hotel.

Managing Medical Needs on Vacation

The reality of traveling with senior parents is that you will be required to think about medical situations, likely even routine ones. Not in the sense of panicking, but rather in a way that shows you’re thoughtful and prepared so you can actually unwind.

1. Medication: Bring your parent’s medications in their original prescription bottles. Include a print-out of the full list of current prescriptions, doses, and their prescribing doctor’s phone numbers. Bring extra; plan on three days worth beyond the length of your trip. Check with your hotel that a mini-fridge will be in your room, since some medications have to stay cold or use a travel cooler. Set alarms on your cell phone for parent’s medication times, especially if they cross time zones.

2. Preparation: Know where the closest ER/urgent care is prior to leaving. Be sure you have copies of your parent’s health insurance cards, plus a copy of any supplemental travel insurance. If you have parents with chronic conditions (heart disease, diabetes, COPD), check with their doctors in advance of travel: Are there altitude restrictions, heat precautions, limits on activities? Are there specific medications that need to be prescribed by their local doctors once you get there? If your parent has dementia, read the travel information at the Alzheimer’s Association site, which includes information about ID bracelets and GPS locators.

And don’t forget summer-specific safety. Hot weather is an especially high-risk for older adults, so plan outdoor activities early in the morning or late in the afternoon, bring water with you at all times, and watch for signs of heat-related illness.

Setting Expectations So Nobody Ends Up Resentful

The real source of friction during family vacations isn’t usually the travel or the lodging. It’s your unspoken expectations.

Your parents may expect to spend every moment with the grandkids. Your children assume that you’ll keep them entertained with nonstop activity. And you, well, you just want to relax for a change only to discover that you’re in charge of making sure everyone else has a good time.

Make a plan before you go

• Day-to-day activities: Make the decision that the group will go together in the mornings, but separate in the afternoons. Then grandparents get to rest without having to wonder if they should keep up with the grandkids, and the children can burn energy without dragging grandparents along.

• Meals: Agree ahead of time on what your plan will be, like who will cook and when you’re going to go out. (Especially important in a rental.) Keep in mind that some older folks eat earlier, and some have dietary restrictions. You can make a plan for everyone’s needs. A schedule such as, “Let’s do a group breakfast. Family dinner at 6:00, then kids’ bedtime activities at 7:30.”

• Free time: Everyone’s okay with taking alone time. Grandparents get a chance to sit by the pool in the mornings, or you get a much needed break, like one hour at the pool or beach by yourself. Make sure it’s on the plan so you don’t have to awkwardly ask to step out.

• Family help: If your siblings are coming, use the vacation time as an opportunity to share the load of caregiving more naturally. Maybe your brother would be the driver, and your sister could take over meal duty for most meals.

My advice, this might feel like such a small thing, but make a note not to do too many things: One of the best parts of a multi-family vacation is those random moments, like those times after dinner playing cards, the time when you went for a walk to the ice cream shop, or those moments when grandpa told stories on the porch. You want to have time to do those things.

Activities That Bridge Three Generations

The best family vacations are those that offer fun that can be partaken in by everyone, however high or low their abilities. Here are some ideas that real multigenerational families have used and enjoyed themselves:

Low-energy, high-connection activities include evening board/card/puzzle games; baking or cooking a family recipe (which doubles as preserving family recipes from aging parents); viewing a sunset while snacking and talking; or reading books to younger grandchildren.

For moderate activity, think scenic drives where you take lots of breaks at overlooks and eateries; farmer’s markets or local shops; boat tours or glass-bottom boat rides (sitting is fine and doesn’t require much mobility); a local aquarium, museum, or botanical garden; and a park picnic where the grandkids can run around while the grandparents sit in the shade.

Grandparents who want to be adventurous may enjoy walking trails that are listed as accessible, kayaking (tandem is easy), fishing from a dock or pier, or a cooking class or wine tasting.

For grandparents who get exhausted easily, try setting up a “base camp” at the beach or in the park, where they can sit and watch or participate from their lawn chair; giving the grandkids a “mission” with the grandparents (i.e., to teach them how to play their favorite card game, to interview them about their childhood); and making a shared vacation journal with each family member adding their drawing, photos, or notes before they retire each night.

Remember: It’s not about how good you are at something; it’s about participating. Grandparents sitting on their beach chair while grandkids catch their first wave will be having a great vacation as much as the rest of them will!

When Travel Isn’t Feasible: Alternatives That Still Feel Special

Sometimes taking a trip just isn’t feasible. Perhaps your parents are not healthy enough for a long plane ride. Maybe the trip would be too costly. Or maybe the strain of traveling outweighs its rewards. But that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice those vacation memories.

Bring the vacation to them:

• Rent a cabin or vacation house near your parents and spend a weekend there with the entire family
• Host a “staycation week” at their home, decorate, schedule themed dinners, plan a daily activity list
• Organize a backyard campout with your grandkids (bonus: Grandparents have the option to go inside and sleep)

For parents in assisted living facilities:

• Plan a “vacation day” visit filled with themed food, photos and a slideshow of your favorite vacation spot, games for the family
• Have your grandkids stay for longer visits. Make it a destination rather than a quick visit
• Make a “trip journal” with them about family vacations in the past.

For families that live far apart:

• Plan a virtual vacation night, watch the same movie, have the same type of takeout delivered and video chat during the film
• Send a care package that is delivered during a scheduled phone call and you “open” it together
• A monthly family newsletter, created through services such as Hug Letters, helps grandparents keep up to date with day-to-day life so the time between family visits doesn’t feel like a long period of time.

Keeping the Connection Alive After the Trip

And then the vacation is over and they’re all going back home. Without intention you can lose all that great connection over that week. Here are a few ideas for keeping it going once you get home:

• Get the photos printed. Order prints or put together a small photo book within a week of getting home. For grandparents who don’t use technology, a photo book is gold.
• Start a post-trip tradition. Maybe a weekly Sunday call where you all reminisce about the vacation. Having something to look forward to on a Sunday will help your parents (and you!) make that connection happen more often.
• Have the kids write or draw their favorite moment and mail it to the grandparents. It costs a stamp and makes a grandparent’s entire week.
• Start planning the next one. Even loosely. Saying “we should do this again next summer” keeps the door open and gives everyone something to anticipate.

So that vacation week can easily be 10x more impactful in terms of connecting you with your mom and your family if you make an intentional plan for feeding that connection for the next twelve months.

Frequently Asked Questions

How Do You Travel With an Elderly Parent With Limited Mobility?

Plan destinations with easy accessibility, like all-inclusive resorts, cruises, or cities that have accessible transit options. Ask the hotel about wheelchair accessibility, roll-in showers, and if there are elevators. Arrange airport wheelchair assistance ahead of time. Bring your own foldable wheelchair or walker even if your parent isn’t normally in one, as unfamiliar environments and long walks make all the difference. Schedule plenty of rest time throughout the day, and aim to save more challenging trips and attractions for earlier in the day.

What Is the Best Vacation for Multigenerational Families?

An all-inclusive resort or vacation rental property are the two best options. The resort can handle most of the heavy lifting with regard to food, entertainment, and accessibility, which also means that the trip organizer gets a break too!

Or, you might consider booking a house to rent where you can be more private and where there might be enough room for family members to be apart at times when you all have different energy or sleep levels. Another good option is the cruise, since these have entertainment options for every age and there isn’t much distance to walk between them. It will depend on your parents’ ability to travel, the ages of your kids, and your budget.

Can You Take a Parent on Vacation From an Assisted Living Center?

In most cases, yes! Let the assisted living center know in advance, get a list of all medications, and any care instructions, and confirm the doctor has cleared it. Short trips, two or three days, are better than an entire week and they work best near home.

Bring items that might remind them of home and try to stick to their routine as best as you can, including meal times and medication times. If your parents have dementia, you don’t want a large group to travel and the surroundings should be as calm as possible. In such cases, you should consider returning home sooner than the trip’s end, just in case.

What Budget Should You Set for a Multigenerational Vacation?

It really depends on where you go, though a vacation rental might be the cheapest route if you can share the cost between your family. Keep in mind that it will likely cost 20% to 30% more than an average family vacation, so account for any extra costs for accessibility, travel insurance, medical equipment, etc.

Look into group pricing for activities and hotels where you can book multiple rooms at a discount. And, if you are an AARP member, you can take advantage of travel deals on hotels, car rentals, and cruise ships that can help pay for those extras.

The Trip Won’t Be Perfect. That’s the Point.

Your dad will complain about how loud the restaurant is. Your toddler will have a meltdown at the airport. You’ll spend twenty minutes frantically searching for the pharmacy that stocks your mom’s eye drops. Someone will get sunburned.

None of that will matter in the end. What you’ll remember is Grandpa teaching your son how to play gin rummy in the cabin. Your daughter holding Grandma’s hand on the beach. All three generations sitting down for breakfast while wearing their pajamas, no one in a hurry.

So go ahead: plan the trip. Make it as accessible as you can. Keep it flexible. Give your family the gift of time, while you still can.